I Can’t Have It All
Over the years, as I’ve paid more attention to my personal growth, I’ve realized one thing.
My interest is piqued by several things.
I thought that was a good thing, and in my case, it was and continues to be.
However, there’s a small problem that comes with this. I’m selfish in a way that I want to do everything.
When I remember one interest, I’m distracted by the thought of wanting to do it, which would be fine if I wasn’t just jumping from one thing to another.
It could be down to the fact that I’m bombarded with information and it gets tricky to filter out what matters and what doesn’t. I’ve become increasingly dependent on using my devices to get information these days and they do tend to distract me in the process.
The reason I’m writing this is that I want to highlight something obvious but maybe not spoke about enough - Decision Fatigue.
In this case, the fatigue comes from deciding what I should do, and what I shouldn’t. Not quite the same conundrum as opening Netflix and wondering which film to pick, because I don’t like all of them.
With hobbies, the problem stems from the fact that I like them all. Some more than the other, some situational and time-dependent, while others can be done at any place, whenever I feel like.
There were days I managed to do them all. In the short span of a weekend, I’d achieve the mission of doing all the things that I felt added value to my life, aided creativity, and helped me feel better. Except it didn’t.
Three weekends in I peaked. Not creatively, but mentally. It felt exhausting and I didn’t enjoy the end to that weekend, but hey? creativity gives you calm. Well, it does but I don’t think it’s supposed to like a ‘to-do’ list where you manage to tick all the boxes in two days.
I got caught in the trap of doing, not experiencing. The same can be said about day-to-day activities. In the process of doing things, I (maybe we?) get lost in the hustle, there’s a cumulative effect that causes me to fizzle out. If creative pursuits aren’t helping me recharge, then I am missing something.
Fortunately, I did realize what I was missing - being in the moment.
While engaging in a creative activity, I’m normally lost (in a good way), calm and happy. If I’m thinking about how to fit in all these activities in two days, I’m rushing the process. I’m not being as creative as I can be, nor am I feeling relaxed. It’s like a day of work where you just cross one thing and move on to another.
So, after a pretty dry rant(?), I do want to lay out how I’m trying to navigate my creative side. These are going to seem very obvious to some of you and impressive to others. It was obvious to me all along but knowing doesn’t equate to action. I mean, I literally had to write an article to get to this point.
Prioritize
Creative pursuits aren’t a race. They’re a journey with no finish line. I’m going to narrow down my interests to a very small group of activities. It can even be one activity over the weekend. If I want to write, I write. If I want to play, I play. The goal is to reach a state of flow so that I can destress.
Breathe
Once I choose an activity, I keep my word to participate in it. This isn’t in the sense of keeping it mandatory, but rather, committing to a task because I choose it above the rest. If I’m feeling indecisive (and it’s quite likely to feel that after a busy week), I’ll pick the first one that comes to mind. If I don’t I’ll hit decision fatigue again.
Cancel the noise
Mindfulness is better achieved with intention and essentialism. By clearing out clutter, devices (that you don’t need), and maybe not checking your feed every 15 minutes, you’re better equipped to succeed.
I hope this works out for me. It should, but if it doesn’t I’ll revisit my days. Maybe keep a diary and write stories about messy days (I’m quite opportunistic that way).
For those who feel that you don’t have a hobby, that’s okay too. Having a lot of them doesn’t help either. The key is to try something and having fun while you’re doing it. I do feel like writing on about this, but for now, this clip can help 😉.
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